My third baby's birthday is coming up. Two years. Oh. It's so hard to think that it's been two years since I kissed her little cheeks and held her small body close. I miss her so very much.
I have felt such a discontent lately. I shared about it in a previous post. Looking back I realized that I was exactly like this last year. In the week or so leading up to Ella's first birthday I was a hot mess of emotions. Cranky. Angry. Sad. with a little happy and normal thrown in there. I felt a little out of control. I remember so clearly the day before her birthday. Shane was trying so so hard for us to have a good time and make memories and I just could not do it. Yet on the day of her first birthday, I was ok. It was nice to celebrate her as a family.
So we will get through this week. We will celebrate Ella's birthday on Saturday and know that she's having a bigger, better party in heaven.
But I still miss her.