Monday, October 1, 2012

Sites to Visit

I've had a few hard days.  Right after the good ones, the hard  days seem even harder.  On these hards days the grief seems fresh and new again. Last Thursday it was in the afternoon and it felt so...heavy.  I don't think I've felt that dark place since right after Ella was born.  I didn't even know what to do.  I didn't want to talk to anyone.  I knew I didn't want to cry anymore so I baked.  :)  I made fudge and peanut butter krispie things (new recipe) and strawberry jam.  Baking is good for my soul.  Even better is giving it away so I don't eat it (smile).

I wanted to share a few great articles I've read online that have spoken to me.  Sometimes I read something and I feel like "YES, that is EXACTLY how I feel.  
This article has so many great verses for comfort and hope.  Verses from the Lord have helped so much before she was born and after.   I have so many people who love me and will listen but it is so comforting to know that God knows exactly how I feel.  My little album with verses has been the best thing I could have ever done.  In fact, I need to pull it out tonight.
Lisa Leonard is the jewelry designer (I have her necklaces for my 3 babies- TWO of them!) that I talked about in an earlier post.  She has a son who has special needs.  This post  was meaningful for a few reasons.  First, I never realized how connected I'd feel to others who have experienced similar loss.    I can totally picture that mama looking at Lisa, begging her to understand her pain. I have found myself wanting to talk to and be with other mamas who have lost babies.  They have an understanding that goes beyond words.

Second, I love what she has to say about grace.  "We are all broken and it's by grace alone we face each day."  We are all broken.  This is so true.  Knowing that is comforting in and of itself.  Sometimes it seems like I'll see someone and they have it all together and you wouldn't think they are hurting or broken.  We ALL need His grace and mercy.  "In the midst of brokenness, we can find beauty"  I'm holding on to this and asking God to show me the beauty in my brokenness.

Last, I have read quite a bit from Still Standing , an online magazine for grief, loss and infertility.  The writers of these posts are not always believers and I do know that makes a difference.  I have HOPE in Christ and I know I'll see Ella again but there are still parts that have spoken to me, if not the whole articles/posts.  This post was good for me to read right after Ella was born.  This post talks about how grief can make you realize just how many gifts surround us.

I just wanted to share these with you.  If you know someone who is in the middle of hurt and pain, maybe one or more of these posts will help.

The best thing that is helping me?  My family.  My girlfriends.  I am so loved and lifted up when I am hurting.  Thank you Lord for taking care of me through them.

1 comment:

Jessica said...

I love you friend.