Some days are good, and I get up and do things like make the bed and muffins and make some plans for the day. And then, out of no where, there is a bad day. Or a bad moment. Sometimes I can tell it's coming, and other times it feels like it's coming from nowhere and hitting so hard. I miss Ella. I know it's still early and we haven't even been without her for a month, but I just never knew it would be this hard.
I need to start a thankful journal. I need to keep looking for blessings all around me. I need to keep carrying my album of verses with me that have been so encouraging in the last few months. I need to get up and get in the Word first thing. Even if I don't want to get up. I know I need that, so if you would, please pray that for me- for energy to get up, take a walk and be with God.
Anyway, on this great Saturday, I am making it my "Thankful Thursday post".. Today I am thankful for:
-time with Grandpa. We have been with Shane's dad this weekend and my kids have been so happy!
- Garage saling. My husband and FIL humored me and drove all over town this morning. Got Graham some good fall and winter clothes, then I hit up Children's place. Ah, shopping really is retail therapy (smile)
-Graham's personality. He's taken to telling me "no" and ah...(gasp).. hitting a bit when he's unhappy. I'm choosing to be thankful for his developing personality. ha!Friends! Oh, I have such good friends. I LOVE getting mail. I'm talking old school, go to the mailbox, mail. We've received so many sweet cards and letters from friends, even some sweet gifts that have been so thoughtful. I have friends making me meals which is so lovely not to have to worry about cooking, and friends who call and text and check in. I have the greatest friends. My girls from MI have come to visit and their kids have entertained mine. (Grace was LOVING having Emma at our house!) What a blessing all my friends have been for me.
- and this little man who looks like his daddy reminds me to be thankful for the man that I married. We are walking a hard, hard road, but we are committed to walk it together. Thank you God for Shane.
3 comments:
Oh Shannon, I'm praying for you right now. This is so hard, and you just have to live it, day by day. Crying with you. And I'm so thankful for the bright spots. God is good.
You are walking a very hard road, just like Ruth said. It's harder than most can imagine! Remember that this isn't the end...it's just part of a journey to Heaven (Ella just got there first, lucky girl!). You held her for almost 35 weeks and that makes it extra hard. You have shown incredible trust in God, faithfulness to Him, and a love for life (no matter what it entails) by carrying Ella for as long as God allowed. Love you!
Love you so much Shan. Our prayers are with you. I am so thankful for you. Big hugs to you from your CA family.
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