Dates....

Maybe it's just me, or maybe women in general, but dates are important.  I met Shane on June 11th, got engaged October 3rd, married May 5th.  And of course the day I had my kids- those dates are important.  There is a song from Haiti that I remember singing in church that goes something like "if you were saved on a Sunday, get up and dance.  If you were saved on a Monday get up and dance... and so on.  I do not, for the record, remember what day I was saved on but since it was at Awanas (Sparks for Jesus!) I guessed Wednesday and that was my dancing day.

I have a great ability to keep a running calendar in my head (mostly) and know what we are doing when.  It makes my husbands head spin when I start rattling off our plans for the next 6 months.

Today is my due date.

Today was the day we were expecting Ella to come.  Now, of course, due dates are just estimates.  Just an approximate time.  I had Gracie six days before her due date, but I got to pick that date because it was a c-section.  I had Graham the day before his due date.

Before we knew Ella had Trisomy 13, I was so looking forward to August 10th.  I liked the "look" of 8/10/12 if she would have been born today.  I liked that I had babies born in the summer.  After we had her diagnosis, I just wanted her to stay put for as long as possible.  Each day we had her was such a gift but it was one day closer to August 10th and the inevitable fact that she wasn't going to come home with us.

It's fitting to me, that today, on the day she was due, I got a beautiful 8x10 picture of her in the mail.  And it is perfect, just like she was.  So today I am looking at my baby girl and loving her.  It's hard on days like this, but I WILL be thankful.  I WILL choose joy.