Just some random thoughts from me.
* This is a repeat but still counts- It's ok if you want to talk to me about Ella. Talking about her actually helps me and is healing.
* Talking about Ella doesn't make me any more scared or sad about this new baby. I am putting my trust in God and believing that He is in control. That counts in the good and the bad. I am actually not scared at all. I have some anxious moments but I work hard at stopping them. God has our life in his hands.
* Tears are not bad. If you see me crying or getting teary eyed, it's not your job to make it stop. Tears are healing and good. If you don't know what to say, just listen.
* When someone asks me about my past births, I will count Ella's in those as well. It doesn't make me sad to talk about her birth or if I had an epidural or whatever. It's fact. It may make the other person uncomfortable but I can't control that. :)
* This is baby #4 for us. Not baby #3. We will only have three of our kids here with us but this is the fourth. I may correct you if you say "three" or I may not. But it doesn't change the fact that it's #4.
* Ella's diagnosis of Trisomy 13 was chromosomal, not genetic. There is no reason to believe that this baby won't be healthy and strong.
*This pregnancy is going well! I have been showing for a little while now, but truthfully, it's a lot of leftovers from 1, 2 & 3! I am feeling good and am excited to start to feel his/her kicks and flutters soon.
* We are just a few weeks out from it being one year since Ella was born. I haven't figured out yet how I'd like to word that- One year from the anniversary of her birth? One year from her going to heaven? Her birthday? Any way, it's a bag of mixed emotions. I am so so glad she's in heaven. She got to skip so much hurt and pain and sadness of this world. But my mommy heart will always wish I had her her to hug and love.
Your love O LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies. Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains, your justice like the great deep, O LORD, you preserve both man and beast.