Thankful Thursday

I have not put my heart into preparing for Easter this year like I should.  This weekend coming is the celebration of the most important weekend for us as Christians.  Well, for all of us really- Jesus died on the cross for all of us. But this is the weekend that we who know the redeeming power of the cross truly celebrate and rejoice.

He is risen...

The stone has been rolled away...

Come see....

I was speaking with someone this week and she said "Easter has a different meaning for you this year doesn't it?" I smiled and nodded and said yes, but it wasn't until my quiet drive home when I began to think about that.

It does mean so much more to me now.  It so does.  

My daughter is in heaven.  I know she is.  And it's because of the cross.

If Jesus would not have taken the pain of that horrible day and bore the sin of man- my sin-  I could not say that with confidence.  But he did.  He took upon himself all of our ugliness, all of our awfulness, our dirty secrets, our shame, our sin.  He did that for me.  He did that for Ella.  But that's not all.  He was broken and beaten and Satan thought he had won, but on that glorious third day, Jesus rose up from the clothes binding him and won the battle.  

Today as I was in my mom's group I was listening to a speaker help us know how to share Easter with our kids and I had this overwhelming thought.  "God lost his son too"  He knows exactly how I feel.   My heart has been so tender this week and it hasn't taken much to bring me to tears but this thought, that my God really does know how I'm feeling is overwhelming.   

These next few days I'm going to do my best to celebrate.  It has not been easy for me because my celebrating may involve lots of ugly cries (ha!) and kleenix and odd looks from others but if you do see me and I have "that look", please know that my tears are not all full of sadness.  There is so, so much gratefulness in there as well.

This is my all time favorite song and there is no better time to sing it than now. Seriously.  If you listen to it, really listen to the words.  How can you not get excited and praise His name??? 

"Then bursting forth in glorious day, up from the grave he rose again!" 

"No power of hell, no scheme of man, can ever pluck me from his hands... till he returns or calls me home.  Here in the power of Christ I'll stand.  " 

It doesn't get better than that.  Ever.

Happy Easter- :)

These TWO

These two littles have been keeping me busy.

 playing pretend with race cars.

 sneaking green beans from the bowl after dinner (ha!)

 exploring ice scuptures

 with mom

 and dad (it was COLD that night, so we basically, took these and left!)

 learning how to love to eat chip dip like Daddy

 having beach adventures in the living room

pretending to sleep with Daddy

 and being silly in the tub.

I am so thankful for them!

(PS- added a few recipes on the recipe blog- link on the right.  I have a few more to add there too so check back!)

9 months

We are coming up on Ella's being in heaven for 9 months.  Wow.  What stands out to me about that is that very soon she will have been gone longer than she was ever "here" (when I was pregnant with her).

We were in Target yesterday and passing the kids clothes.  Gracie saw a baby dress that was pink with polka dots.  She said "mom that is cute!  We should get that for baby Ella!"  I smiled and explained that she's in heaven and doesn't need that pretty dress."  I think what she was trying to say was that we should have bought it for her before when I was pregnant.   Either way, it was sweet.

I would have loved to have dressed my second daughter in that pretty Easter dress this year.  It would have been wonderful.  Someone said to me recently- do you think Ella would want to come back?  No way. She is in heaven.  She is healed and perfect and with Jesus.  What more could anyone ask for?

So, while this milestone, not having her longer than we had her, comes and passes, I will be grateful that someday we will be together ALWAYS.  And there will be no place else we would ever want to be.   I am grateful for opportunities to talk to Grace about Ella and more importantly about heaven and Jesus.

For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. 1 Corinthians 13:12

The Beehive

One of Graham's favorite things to do is go to story time.  He loves the songs and books and Mrs. Pam his teacher.  This is his favorite song!

Happy Birthday Shane!

 We celebrated Shane's birthday over the weekend.  The kids were SO excited!

 Graham helped Grace put candles on Daddy's cake.  He couldn't have been prouder.

 Oh, and the super heros also showed up to party.

We had a great weekend.  We had some friends over on Saturday night (with no kids!) and just hung out.  It was so nice to visit with everyone and have no child interruptions. :)  The kids are getting to a fun age where they love games, dancing, parties, etc.  Gracie even made a "game" for daddy.  We aren't really sure the rules, or the point but it consisted of lots of sticky notes around the house with letters on them.  :)

Switching It up

EDIT:  I changed it back.  If you didn't see the new design, it was cute!  But by adding it I lost my dashboard where I clicked to add new posts and such.  Until I figure it out we'll have to stick with this design. :)

Just switching it up here on the ole blog.  Do I even have any readers left?  I have been doing poorly at updating here are some reasons in no specific order-

• Life is busy!  We travel quite a bit, I'm working part time and my kids are running me ragged!
• I still miss Ella so much.  I'm working through it.  Of course, I'll never get over it, but I don't take pics like I used to and I don't have the drive to post like I did.  Today marks 8 months since she's been in heaven.  When I am sad, I just want to lay on the couch a blanket and eat whatever I can get my hands on.  Which leads me to the next point:
• I've been working hard at getting this old body back into shape!  I (vaguely) remember being able to run 5 miles at 5:30 AM!!! with my friend Jodi.  On a regular basis.  I don't want to be a tired mom who can't play with her kids.  Or worse, I don't want to not be there for my kids.  I want to feel good in my body.  It's hard to be overweight and feel so bad about myself.  But it's also hard to exercise and eat right.  I'm choosing the latter.  I'm 6 weeks into this and fitting better into my clothes but am still waiting for that oh so exciting weight loss moment when I can "see it". But it's taking it's sweet little time to come.  I try to do it first thing in the morning when everyone is still in bed but I am also sometimes squeezing it in during nap time.  
• I'd rather write than share pictures right now.  I do realize that this disappoints some of you.  Writing has proven to be therapy for me and I'm grateful for it.  But I know that my family wants pics so then I don't write, and then I don't do anything.... vicious cycle.  I'm thankful for those of you have encouraged me to do whatever feels right.  I know you really want to see cute pics of my kids but thanks. :)
• I have a fancy and fun new phone and I am taking lots of pictures with it and not so many with my camera.  I need to do better about that too. Or better about uploading pics from my phone to my computer.  Or both.

Ok, so what do you think?  Like this new style or the old one better?   Leave me a comment and let me know!  And just for fun, here are two pics taken by Grace.  Maybe she should take over the blog. :)

•